12/13/2004

Family Drama

There's been so much drama in my family today that I feel like a wet sponge slapping at the keyboard. I'm totally exhausted, and I've got one of those creeping headaches that make you feel like you're having dental work in your eye. Also, who the hell invented the whole eight nights of Hanukah thing? I am so goddamn sick of Hanukah. So sick of the "Just let me open one more present," so sick of the "It's my turn to light the candles," so sick of knocking down boxes for the recycling and digging packing peanuts out of the couch. Enough with this mercantile hell! I want to get back to ignoring my children!

I am pretty pleased, as many of you must be, by the Homeland Security fiasco. Mostly because I like the idea of a man's career being tanked by a childcare situation. And I like anything that makes Bush look bad. However, when is this country going to wake up to the ludicrous...

ugh. Wait. SKUNK!!! SKUNK OUTSIDE MY OFFICE WINDOW!!!! GAG. COUGH. RETCH.

Man, that's nasty. Where was I?

Right. Nannygate, part III. Look, here's the thing. It's really really hard to find a nanny. Even for us, and I pay twenty bucks an hour, plus healthcare (full healthcare benefits, Kaiser, not the crappy insurance we get from the Writer's Guild), a cell phone, two weeks vacation plus holidays and a Christmas bonus. Even so, it's incredibly hard for us to find someone who wants to do this job. It's no fun taking care of other people's children. Children are boring, they move their bowels thoughtlessly, and they don't wipe their noses except on your shirt. So it's seriously challenging to find childcare. I'm not going to take on that whole Caitlin Flannagan, Atlantic Monthly article. Read it if you want to. All I want to say is that if so many people are compelled to break the law, the answer should be that the law is wrong, not that we need to imprison every one of them. This goes for the upwards of 75 million Americans who smoke pot (Do you need to hear that number again? 75 Million.) and it goes for the who-knows-how-many millions of families who hire nannies with no papers. And let's not even talk about the women who are desperate for work, need these jobs, and do them well, responsibly, and with love. All the while getting puked on by my little vermin.

567 Comments:

Blogger Ayelet said...

Shalom Ayelet,

I happened upon your blog by mistake, though I'm well aware of who you are, not just because we share a name but because I'm informed about the literary world and, while I have yet to read any of your work, am a big fan of your husband's. I even mentioned you both in my own blog (www.ayeletlikeitis.com) two years ago. Seriously. Check my archives.

That said, I just wanted to say hello from a fellow American Ayelet living in northern California. Who'd have thought there'd be two of us? And writers, at that? Perhaps someday, if/when my book is published, I'll have you to thank for giving the world a primer on how to pronounce our name.

Happy Hanukah and all the best to you and your family.

December 14, 2004 at 4:40 PM  
Blogger Scarlett said...

Ayelet, I was wondering. Since you mention that statistic of US pot smokers...have you ever found pot to be helpful with regards to 'treating' bipolar? I ask becos a close friend of mine who is pretty bipolar (probably type 2) swears that pot is more effective than the other meds he takes like depakote for eg. Any thoughts? I am conflicted - on one hand if he says it helps, I'm all for it, but his shrink thinks it's not a good idea to mix pot and meds....

December 15, 2004 at 7:55 AM  
Blogger fiona said...

It's amazing to me how many politicians lose their jobs due to "The Nanny". We've just lost our Home Secretary over here (UK), not due to the fact that he was having an affair with a married woman, not because he has claimed that he fathered her two year old son and the child she is now 7 months pregnant with, not because he gave goverment tickets meant for spouses to said woman, but because he apparently used his influence to speed up her work visa and now looks like he may have spoken to the Austrians to get her a holiday visa. To all you poeple out there with nannies - if you have any political aspirations, BEWARE!!

December 15, 2004 at 11:01 AM  
Blogger fiona said...

Whoops, sorry, that's the danger of multi-tasking! You screw things up every now and then! Blunkett resigned due to the permit/visa improprieties he apparently committed on behalf of his mistress's nanny!

December 15, 2004 at 12:21 PM  
Blogger Ayelet Waldman said...

My mistress' nanny is an American citizen so my political aspirations are safe.

Scarlett, marijuana is totally benign, so it won't damage him in any way. I'm not sure it helps much, but it can be pretty amazing for lots of things, maybe bipolar disorder, too. One thing that works WONDERS is Omega III. I've had a totally different experience with my craziness since I started on Omega III fatty acids. I take 9 mgs a day. I'm not a crackpot, I swear. There was a study out of Harvard showing a remarkable positive effect of Omega III on Bipolar and depressed patients.

December 15, 2004 at 11:33 PM  
Blogger Ayelet Waldman said...

AYELET!! Hi, someone just said to me, "I know another Ayelet who is a writer who lives in Berkeley." This must be you!

December 15, 2004 at 11:34 PM  
Blogger Esther Kustanowitz said...

If you think you're sick of Chanukah, imagine if you were single and there was some sort of singles party you had to go to every night even though you know you have a snowball's chance in hell of meeting anyone because the events are so huge that it's not made up of individuals anymore just a sea of faces that look sort of similar because they're all Jewish and looking...

Sorry for the Faulknerian lack of punctuation. I was trying to convey my breathlessness. I'm tired. It's not Mom-tired, but still.

December 16, 2004 at 8:37 AM  
Blogger Ayelet Waldman said...

OY, Esther. I wish a knew a decent Jewish man. Feh on those events. You must be totally drained of all life force.

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