12/06/2004

Tree Trimming

Last night we went to my friend Lucy's house to trim her tree. Us Jews just love a good tree trimming. Her children are totally cynical about the tree -- they want it done, but they'd rather play the X-Box. Mine, on the other hand, were in Seventh Heaven. Even Abraham stopped whining for long enough to hang a little wooden sleigh on the very lowest bough.

The one time I had a non-Jewish roommate who wasn't going home for the holidays (crazy loft in Soho, crazy Australian roommate, crazy fight that had me packing up and leaving in the middle of the night) I insisted we get a tree. I had in my mind exactly what I wanted: full boughs, squat and not too tall, white lights, wooden ornaments, nothing too big or flashy. I'd thought it all through. In fact, I had the whole thing decorated when I was in fifth grade. I love Christmas trees, but I would never do a Hanukkah bush. Way too cheesy. Instead I just covet.

Nowadays I force my family and myself on our non-Jewish friends. We show up, ornaments in hand, and interject ourselves into their tree rituals. Of course no seems to have the kind of elaborate Brady-Bunch tree trimming ritual that I'd fantasized about my whole life. Nine times out of ten, it's mom trimming all by herself, with occasional shouts for a tall man to nail something to the ceiling. They generally don't object to our presence, because at least there's someone in the house excited about the process, even if those someones aren't relatives.

Now I just have to figure out a way to get us invited somewhere for an Easter egg hunt.

548 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there-
I love trimming trees; I haven't done it in so long because my mom is allergic to pine needles. Isn't that awful??? We had a fake tree but we gave it away when we moved.
Best bet on Easter: Doesn't parks around Berkeley have Easter Egg Hunts? Or at least Equinox hunts? (to keep the Easter part of it)
BTW-it's Jennifer Gibbons from Readerville. Sorry I didn't set up a time with the Weekly; I was burned out from the election and I figured you were too.

December 6, 2004 at 9:19 AM  
Blogger gayle said...

Ayelet, you can come trim our metal tree! It's actually been up all year. Our plan was to have it be a holiday tree (we would hang hearts on Valentines Day, mini trees on Arbor Day, etc.), but the only thing dangling from it right now are some potholders that Hannah made from a kit. I think the tree will go down after this holiday season. I need to hang some dreidels on it now.

I love your blog! I find I'm already checking obsessively for new posts...

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December 6, 2004 at 9:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well i'm appalled.

December 6, 2004 at 11:56 AM  
Blogger Ayelet Waldman said...

Dude, I hope you're not appalled at me!

December 6, 2004 at 2:10 PM  
Blogger Robert said...

Not to get all political on ya, ...well maybe a little... do you give a rip about Arnold's declaration of the "Christmas" Tree at the capitol?

See Linda's opinion

December 6, 2004 at 6:47 PM  
Blogger Ayelet Waldman said...

In my opinion, it makes no difference. I mean, it's a Christmas tree, let's call a Christmas tree a Christmas tree.

December 6, 2004 at 7:01 PM  
Blogger Ayelet Waldman said...

In my opinion, it makes no difference. I mean, it's a Christmas tree, let's call a Christmas tree a Christmas tree.

December 6, 2004 at 7:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't get it. Why do you feel obsessed with decorating a Xmas tree? Do you obsess as much about Chanukah? Why teach your Jewish kids to trim xmas trees? Am I missing something?

December 6, 2004 at 7:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think (and A. can correct me if I am wrong) that the children are Jewish on her side, and Michael Chabon is not Jewish, so maybe they celebrate both traditions.
I think it's great; I just came back from a event at my college called The Festival of Light and Dark-where each person talks about their religion-then light a candle.
Jennifer

December 6, 2004 at 8:31 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Ayelet, I wish you didn't live on the other side of the country--I'd invite you to our annual tree-retrieval-and-trimming festivities. I was brought up Jewish, and married someone as non-religious as me except from a southern Baptist home.

I posted about our tree process--the kids love trimming it with me, and it ends up not Martha Stewart perfect, but very much us.

December 7, 2004 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger fiona said...

OK, so I'm feeling in need of therapy for my religous schizophrenia! Adam finished writing his christmas cards for his school friends, they both opened they chocolate Advent calenders and then we lit the chanukah candles! And on Sunday after the shul chunukah party we're going to drive around to see all the sparkly christmas lights!

And I've satisfied my need for glitter and sparkles by having lots of fairy lights that are disguised as cool, trendy light features!

Happy doughnuts to one and all!

December 7, 2004 at 12:43 PM  
Blogger Ayelet Waldman said...

Michael is as Jewish as they come. The Christmas tree thing comes from JEALOUSY. I spent my childhood staring at Christmas trees from outside on the sidewalk. I love them. LOVE THEM. I have no idea why, except maybe as part of a whole self-hating Jew thing. Or maybe it's just because they're PRETTY. I don't know. Anyway, we do it so the kids won't feel the same jealousy. They get to decorate a tree, too! And then they get the Hannukka fat-fest.

December 8, 2004 at 11:42 AM  
Blogger Ayelet Waldman said...

Oh, and one more thing. I'd NEVER have on in my house. So that's why we have to go to other people's tree-trimmings. Our neighbors have a Hanukka bush, and I feel nothing but disdain. :)

December 8, 2004 at 11:44 AM  
Blogger stephanie said...

Lucky kids, to have you looking out like that! Personally, I never got into the tree thing...haven't had one in years, although my parents decorated one this year for the first time in several years. It just seems like so much effort, when I'm not even home for the holidays! I know, I'm lazy :-)

December 8, 2004 at 1:17 PM  
Blogger Ayelet Waldman said...

You have a legitimate claim to a tree but don't set one up??? Horrors. Where do you live? I'll do yours next year...

December 8, 2004 at 7:27 PM  
Blogger stephanie said...

Michigan :-)

December 9, 2004 at 9:07 AM  
Blogger elswhere said...

I love this post! I had serious tree-envy and was totally into decorating them, just like you, until I hooked up with a Dane with tree-fixation and we had a kid, and then I became extremely ambivalent due to the whole interaith-family thing. I wrote a whole long megilla of a post about it a few days ago. It breaks my heart that I can no longer merrily crash people's tree-trimming parties but instead have become all sulky and disapproving and frum about it in my own home. But I'm trying not to be. But apparently (according to my partner) I am anyway.

I am not normally a big self-promoter (really! I'm not!) but here's the link to the post in case you want to see what you escaped by marrying a nice Jewish boy rather than a Danish girl:
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p.s. thanks to An Unsealed Room for sending me to your blog.

December 13, 2004 at 11:12 PM  
Blogger TC said...

Don't know if you read comments on old posts, but...there's this fabulous book called "There's No Such Thing as a Chanukah Bush, Sandy Goldberg" that I read to my kids each year, and read part of to my daughter's second-grade class this year. (Can't remember the author of course...darn it.) Puts it in perfect perspective, about how much fun it can be to celebrate other people's holidays with them, but that you don't then bring that holiday home with you, just like you might invite a Christian person to your Passover seder, but you don't expect them to then go home and change out their dishes and throw out their bread.

We decorate a Christmas tree with our friends Marc and Glen every year, and then stay at their house for Chistmas eve and Christmas day, and the kids look forward to both events avidly. They also both believe in Santa Claus because, as Em put it to me last year, "He's a really nice guy, and he doesn't care if we're Jewish. He likes us anyway."

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