The Worst Mother in Preschool
I know just what they're thinking when the give me that look. Who do I think I am, showing up at the preschool Hanukkah party when I've been entirely absent all year? "She doesn't even know our names," they probably whisper to one another. OK, maybe that's giving in to delusions of grandeur, maybe they have no idea that I not only don't know who they are, but I don't even recognize their children. Why? Because I never go to the school. I don't drop Rosie off, I don't pick her up. You know who does? My nanny. Yes, I'm one of those mothers. The mothers who opt out of the whole nursery school experience. When Sophie (now ten) was in preschool, we had one of those mothers in the class. I know what the moms think of me, because it's exactly what I thought of her. What a crappy parent! What an uncaring wretch! It's Mommy Dearest in that house.
That mom had two older children. Just like I do. What the mommies don't understand is that before Rosie stepped a foot into preschool, I'd already done five years of it. FIVE YEARS. Two with Sophie and three with Zeke. Five years of fingerpainting. Five years of pasta collages, five years of Playdoh menorahs, five years of clean mud (that stuff they make with grated soap flakes), five years of the water table. FIVE YEARS. A person could go crazy. Is it any wonder that I have to buy out my volunteer hours?
posted by ayeletw @ 12/10/2004 01:31:00 PM
144 Comments:
In this context, what is the "water table"?
~ Tabby
You know, when you've got the job of loving four kids, I imagine you're too busy/tired to bother with guilt over those other moms' opinions. If they had as much on their plates, they wouldn't have time to be judgemental!
Of course, if you're like me, there's always time for guilt.
Ah, the water table! Working with two and three year olds in the past, I know this.
A water table is a table that has a tub. You fill the tub with water, then they can play with the water. They can wash babies, they can do the ever popular game Sink or Float, they can get each other wet, it's oodles of fun!
Jennifer
It's funny, but every time I've gone in to help at my daughter's school (first at Montessori, now public school first grade), I've said to myself: "Well this is uplifting--I need to do this more often!"
Then it's 11 at night and I can't get my kid to sleep and I have deadlines looming and reality reminds me why I've never been good at actually PLANNING to go and volunteer.
On the other hand, when I find myself actually at the school--say today, after school while the kids bought presents for their parents at this make-shift gift shop in the cafeteria--I spent an hour folding clothes that the school is donating.
So, while I stink at the pre-planned "room mom" thang, and usually have small seizure episodes when I'm forced into conversation with those moms, I'm good at stopping by and taking out the trash.
I guess we all have our talents. You? You have four kids. That's enough of a reason for any parent.
It's so delightful to see so many other "bad mothers" and to be reassured that none of us suck quite as terribly as we think. That's why I started this blog to begin with. Reassurance and venting. What a fabulous combination.
Yes, add me to the bad mother list. I do promise myself that when we move, I'll be more involved. But Grace and Sam's school is currently run like a prison, and it's no joy to spend time there. And while Jonah's therapeutic preschool used to be very family oriented when Sam was there (both boys are autistic), it's under new management and also not family-friendly.
Like Dorothy, I keep thinking all will be well when we make it to Kansas. I'll be the perfect mother.
Ha!
I've only got one kid and was already bored sick of all that playground scene by the time she was 8 months old. I've never gotten over it, and totally understand the need for pharmacology with more than one kid! Your accomplishments amaze me.
I don't go to my son's preschool, either. It's on the military base where my husband works, so I let him handle the drop-off and pick-up. Every so often, my husband will get sick or be out of town, which means that I have to handle things myself. I walk around, utterly lost and certain that the teachers suspect me of being one of those scary child snatchers.
I used to feel guilty about it. I'd get sign-up sheets for field trips they'd planned, requests to take my turn as the "room parent", fliers announcing a Parents' Day, invitations to "Mommy and Me" lunches, announcements about his class performing a skit which would, no doubt, involve 30 preschoolers milling about pointlessly while the preschool teachers tried getting them to recite lines they'll never remember.
It's reached the point where I've started wondering why I'm paying these people to take my son off my hands for a couple of hours a day when all they're doing is trying to get me to spend those same hours helping them... for free!
So I don't feel guilty any more. I've done this for the past 4 years of his life, and for 6 years of my older daughter's life. I'm tired. I'm done. I want my life back.
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Hi my name is Jeff.
Did you Know...............
1 out of 5 kids has been sexually solicited online (NOT JUST GIRLS).
1 out of 4 kids has been sent a picture of naked people or people having sex online.
That May 21, 2002 there was the first death of a child linked directly to an Internet Predator?
Every one would love the world to be perfect and great but with the good come the bad. All we can do is hope for the best and be proactive in preventing the bad things from happening. I can tell you that we think we know what our kid are thinking and doing. Do not be one of the parents that says my child would never do that ( they are kids and will try things even when you tell them not to do it).
My little brothers and sister are a good example! They had it made........My father and stepmother had a little computer knowledge but not much ( at this time in the past the only things you had to really worry about was internet porn because chat rooms, messengers and blogs were not around or very few were) and they tried to do there best to keep them from going to internet porn. THEY DID NOT!!! They thought they did but my brothers were smarter than my parents and could erase their tracks.
My site www.internetkidsafety.webmenues.com has more articles on internet kid safety .
Please visit internet kid safety
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