1/25/2005

"You Like Being Mean to Us. You're Nothing But a Hatred Machine."

Thus sayeth Sophie, age 10. Thank God those words were directed to her father, and not to me.

That would make a great book title. "You're nothing but a hatred machine." She's a damn fine writer, that girl. She's got a terrific sense of language and a good eye for detail.

This terrifies me.

I can see it now. The tell-all memoir in which she writes about the miseries of growing up with a mother who wrote chatty little mystery novels about being a mommy, but was secretly an evil wretch, locking her daughter in closets and denying her food and clothing. Well, denying her chocolate bars for breakfast and midriff-baring tops from Limited Too, but you get the point. She'll describe how she awoke at age six months to witness the primal scene and has never recovered. She'll list the various drugs her mother ingested, both legal and less so.

Her memoir will be titled something like "Co-Dependent No More." Or, "In Your Face, You Bitch."

I wish she had the remotest talent in something else, so I could channel her energies to something that wouldn't come back to bite me in the butt. Sadly, her violin playing is, well, let's just say that it is at the precise pitch and tone of the whistle on my tea kettle and whenever she practices I come tearing into the kitchen to turn off the burner on the stove. She loves musical theater, but she sings as well as I do, and I was one of the people required to mouth the words to the Christmas carols in chorus.

Math. She's really good at math. Maybe I'll enroll her in some upper level math programs. Great mathematicians rarely turn to memoir.

468 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You could always do what my Mom has done. Ever since we were kids she responds to our complaints by saying, "Put it in your Mommie Dearest book."

The reason this is so effective is that if we were to go ahead and put all of it in a tell-all-I-hate-my-mother memoir, we would have to admit that it was her idea in the first place and that in some perverse way it was her success rather than ours. So instead none of us will ever think of doing it solely because of the bizarre pleasure it would probably give her. Reverse psychology at its best, right?

Jessica

January 25, 2005 at 1:48 PM  
Blogger Lance Mannion said...

Ayelet,

I don't mean to worry you...Well, yeah, I do...but G.H. Hardy and Bertrand Russell both wrote excellent memoirs. I think Hardy kept his personal life pretty much out of his, but Russell...

Tell your husband not to feel too bad. I'm the meanest dad in the world, I've been told. I think my kids are already in negotiations with an agent.

January 25, 2005 at 1:59 PM  
Blogger Ayelet Waldman said...

Perhaps we can start some kind of competition. An Olympics of evilness...awards for excellence in grounding, for example.

January 25, 2005 at 2:06 PM  
Blogger eastcoastgirl said...

"A hatred machine" That's a gorgeous phrase. Clearly her parents' daughter.

January 25, 2005 at 4:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My 5 year old is already shaping up as a math geek, so I'm safe there. My 2 year old, though, hasn't had the individual attention, so might end up liking books. Then I am in trouble. But I plan on never being famous, so I don't know who would buy it!

Phyllis

January 25, 2005 at 4:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You're nothing but a hatred machine" would also make a great disco song, I think.

Allison

January 25, 2005 at 11:45 PM  
Blogger MB said...

Bwaa ha ha...You guys are delusional if you think you're safe with a mathematician. Spouse (Eric) is a product of the Berkeley math department (supposedly the best of the best.) I don't want to know how many federal watch-lists we're now on since he began blogging.

January 26, 2005 at 3:18 AM  
Blogger Libby said...

"hatred machine" is really, really good. And, as someone just said, disco-worthy, too. In fact you can map it onto "Dancing Queen" pretty well. That might defuse it.

I always worry about my own mother reading what I write, even though it's hardly the sort of tell-all memoir we all fear. So I guess I have it coming to me with my kids--I, too, have one of those daughters who's likely to be good at pretty much the same stuff I am. Sigh. Luckily my son's more interested in art and architecture--can you use that to make your parents look bad?

January 26, 2005 at 8:25 AM  
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Our son, in his days before becoming diabetic, used to eat far too much sugar and his body's response was to become extremely irritated and aggressive with any little thing that did not go his way.

One day while we were on the front porch of the old farmhouse, this exact situation occurred. I, the Evil Step-Father, dared to say "No" to The Boy. He mounted his usual pre-teened logical Defense. I was unmoved and repeated my "No." Back and forth, back and forth.

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The last time I used it was with the grade just above my son's grade. They were close enough in age to him to know who I had to be talking about and then teased him about it. He asked me to not use it again, so I did.

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______________________________________________

And one last story:

My wife avoided all things Computer until our daughter came home one weekend and showed her this great site called eBay. That night she decided to do what she'd wanted to do for years -- buy me a violin.

Now, I don't play the violin. I never have. Guitar, yes. Violin, no. That's okay, said her logic, you're of Irish ancestory and once a violin is placed in your hands the Genetic Memories will awaken in you and you'll be fiddling jigs in no time.

Said violin arrived. I made scratching noises. Really awful scratching noises.

Eventually I started practicing in the spare room in the old farmhouse. In the room was a bed that many of the five cats spent many happy afternoons sleeping on. I'd walk in, open up the violin case, rosin up the bow, sit on the bed and start practicing.

Eventually, one by one, the cats would all leave the room.

One day I walked into the room and set the violin case down on the bed. All of the cats looked up, saw the case, and ran out of the room.

I didn't bother opening the case that day. Nor have I since.

...

January 27, 2005 at 1:02 PM  
Anonymous jhon bell said...

my dad is mean and evil. He is going to have a horable fathers day because I'm not giving him anything

June 17, 2005 at 7:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

'Petty Hate Machine' is a Nine Inch Nails album so perhaps your daughter is best off joining them or some other heavy metal/ progressive rock group and then maybe even more people can hear about your sick behaviour

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