1/19/2005

Welcome to My Fantasy World

I'm already adding to my cabinet. Terrific suggestions, folks!

Do we have to even notice tomorrow's festivities? Can we just pretend it's not happening? I know...let's play ROTISSERIE politics. This is a game I invented after the last election. It's like that fantasy baseball game the weird guy in the next office (or the weird guy next to you in the bed) plays. You pick independent players to be on your team. You aren't bound by anything other than you have to have a complete cabinet. Then, for the next four years, skip all political news. Just put your fingers in your ears and sing, "Na na na." Tell yourself pretty little stories about what your rotisserie team is doing.

I'll start. I warn you, I'm just doing this off the top of my head, with a little help from the web. I'll need to change my picks if I come up with a bunch of losers.

President: Barbara Boxer (it's fantasy politics, people)

VP: Barack Obama (Young, inexperienced, I know. But we went to law school together, and if he remembers me it can only increase my chances of getting invited to the White House.)

Secretary of State: George Soros

Secretary of the Treasury: George Akerloff (UC Berkeley Nobel Laureate in Economics)

Attorney General: Kathleen Sullivan (one-time dean of Stanford Law School. Out lesbian. Very smart.)

Secretary of the Interior: John H. Adams, president of the Natural Resources Defense Counsel

Secretary of Agriculture: Michael Pollan (author of The Botany of Desire)

Secretary of Commerce: Nancy Folbre (an expert on time, money, and family values.)

Secretary of Labor: Sara Horowitz

Secretary of Defense: Daniel Berrigan. Priest and Peace activist.

Secretary of H.U.D.: Julian Bond of the NAACP

Secretary of Transportation: Matt Gonzalez (our own SF dude.)

Secretary of Energy: Carl Pope (Sierra Club president.)

Secretary of Education: Dave Eggers. Seriously. Check out 826 Valencia. The guy is an idea machine.

Secretary of H.H.S.: Katherine Gottlieb, MacArthur genius.

Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Max Cleland

Department of Homeland Security: Richard Clarke (brilliant idea, here, Fred. Thanks.)

EPA: Pam Matson (She knows about greenhouse gases and what they do.)

Chief of Staff: Ideas?

US Trade Rep: HELP!

Office of Management and Budget Director: Would Byron Dorgan work in this slot?

Drug Czar: Ethan Nadelman, director of the Drug Policy Institute

118 Comments:

Blogger gayle said...

President Boxer--yes!

I love the whole line up.

For US Trade Rep, how about one of the Yes Men?

xo
gayle

January 20, 2005 at 12:21 AM  
Blogger Fred Vincy said...

Great idea!

How about Richard Clarke for Homeland Security?

January 20, 2005 at 6:49 AM  
Blogger Psycho Kitty said...

I all for Boxer. Yay!
I'm afraid I don't have any useful suggestions for anyone else at the moment. But can you please find room for someone who will propose a constitutional ammendment outlawing James Dobson? Please?

January 20, 2005 at 6:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know much about Carl Pope. I looked him up, of course, but I recommend my Dad instead. He's not American, but this is fantasy politics! He was recently honoured by Scientific American as Energy Policy Leader of the Year for 2003-2004.

Look here.
-- Tabby

January 20, 2005 at 7:13 AM  
Blogger Cricket said...

Baahhaaahahahaha!

Brilliant:
Secretary of Agriculture: Michael Pollan (author of The Botany of Desire)

We'd get a new cash crop!
==
I'd want an extroverted, flamboyant even, Chief of Staff: friendly, attentive, the epitome of professionalism. Someone who would shape those suits all up and make them (look) their best. I recommend Carson Kressley.

January 20, 2005 at 7:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course, your friend Diane can't remember what she chose as her password, so she is commenting anonymously. Such forgetfulness goes right along with the whole bad mother thing. I would add Madeline Albright in there somewhere. In the real world she couldn't be president because she wasn't born in the US, but we're talking fanatsies here. And yes, I am most certainly ignoring today's "festivities." I much rather live in fantasy land.

January 20, 2005 at 8:09 AM  
Blogger Fred Vincy said...

I decided I liked the idea so much I was going to play too. Here's my line-up:

Great Idea

January 20, 2005 at 9:57 AM  
Blogger marrije said...

I like Bruce Schneier for Homeland Security, the guy who wrote 'Beyond Fear'. He's sensible, well-informed and critical. Richard Clarke can probably use all the help he can get, so perhaps Schneier could be Clarke's deputy, focusing on IT hazards and airline security?

January 20, 2005 at 11:23 AM  
Blogger ayeletw said...

Excellent recs...and folks, can you believe how much our resident Dutch correspondent knows about American politics. Puts us to shame. I don't even know who the Dutch president (Prime Minister?) is.

January 20, 2005 at 2:32 PM  
Blogger Libby said...

I know they're not real, but I like both C.J. Cregg and Leo McGarrity as chiefs-of-staff. Of course, I'd like Martin Sheen as president, too.

January 20, 2005 at 4:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love it. Fantasy, right? 'Cause I want Paul Wellstone for HHS. I mean, he's dead and all, but still...

And how about Al Franken for Press Secretary?

Cathy

January 20, 2005 at 7:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Joseph Stiglitz would make an excellent trade rep--heck he's even got a Nobel Prize in economics. Or you could go full bore and get Citizen Trade Watch's Lori Wallach.

-Joshua H

January 21, 2005 at 8:46 PM  
Blogger DovBear said...

I am not enough of a wonk, to play this game at your level, but here's my team.
Very fun game, Ayelet.

January 23, 2005 at 5:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does your fantasy world also have a House and Senate? How about a California Governor? Fox news? Rush Limbaugh? Ronald Reagen postage stamps? Score keeping (like the weird guy next to you does with fantasy football)? Curious minds want to know. Eliyahu

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