1/20/2005

Fashion Victim

All I wear nowadays are long-sleeve shirts with short-sleeve shirts layered on top of them. Every day. Some days it's a gray shirt with a black Believer baby-doll T on top of it. Some days it's a pink shirt with a Free Piper T. Today it's a long white V-neck with a pink shirt.

My children have all adopted this style, too. The three older ones wear it, and when they dress the baby, they put him in a little turtleneck with a polo over it, like some kind of tiny, floppy-eared escapee from Andover. When we go out together we look like those couples you see on vacation wearing matching Hawaiian shirts. In other words, stupid. We look stupid.

I'm trying to figure out why I've suddenly decided that this style, one that highlights the fleshiness of the upper arm is so compelling that I must adopt it despite its obvious unsuitability. Why am I dressing like a sixteen-year old? Why do my jeans rest at my hips, the better to force my four-caesarian-sectioned belly to ooze out over the top? What's the deal?

So many of the women I admire have innate senses of style. They know what looks good on them, they wear it, and that's it. I used to have, for better or worse, one fashion rule. Black. Only black. Everything I owned was black, everything I wore was black, everything I allowed near my body was black, with the exception of my lipstick and nail polish. This was an easy rule to follow. It brooked no compromise, and allowed for little flash, but it was hard to make too obvious an error. Now, I'm all about the colors (pink, green, etc.) and I fear I have become one loud fashion faux pas, wandering in search of a Queer eye. I am a fashion weather vane, pointy-shod when told to be, rounded-toed when told to be. All in the service of what? I always look more or less the same - fine. Except when I make some kind of terrible mistake. Then I look, well, ridiculous. Like, what was I thinking, a purple dress. Redheads should never wear purple, even when they become old ladies. Especially when they become old ladies. And that gold top with the ruffled tail? Gevalt.

The person I'd like to be has a small closet with just a few really "good" pieces. You know that woman. She oozes class, even when she's wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Maybe she tosses an ancient cashmere sweater over the ensemble, adding a little dash of expensive chic. Instead, I'm the woman with the bulging closet full of things purchased on sale, just a half-size too small (I'll shrink into them), in the color of the moment that just happens to lend my face a greenish hue.

What secret do those women know that I don’t? Sofia Coppola doesn't read "What Not To Wear," so how do she and her ilk just know this stuff? Is there a gene that I'm missing? Probably. You should see the pictures of my wedding. The only things more terrifying than my mom and grandmother in dueling knock-off Pucci prints was me in my wedding dress. I look like I dropped headfirst into a jar of marshmallow fluff.

318 Comments:

Blogger Rachel said...

I know what you mean, I wear the same things again and again: to work: button down shirt and cords (I'm a fifth grade teacher) at home: long sleeve tee shirts/jeans. blah. I used to only wear blue (all shades, navy mostly) but the last year I have branched back out into color and am always nervous of the results. Is that hot pink and orange dress too much??

January 20, 2005 at 2:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's really a strange moment to know you're too old for a certain look. What comes next, mumus and pearls? I just turned 30 and I look like a moron if I try to some of my 22 year old sister's outfits. She looks really hot in a backless lace and chiffon shirt and ties around her ribs and flutters out just so. I just look like an old fart with saggy boobs trying to be hip. Oh the humiliation!

January 20, 2005 at 3:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's really a strange moment to know you're too old for a certain look. What comes next, mumus and pearls? I just turned 30 and I look like a moron if I try to some of my 22 year old sister's outfits. She looks really hot in a backless lace and chiffon shirt and ties around her ribs and flutters out just so. I just look like an old fart with saggy boobs trying to be hip. Oh the humiliation!

January 20, 2005 at 3:28 PM  
Blogger littlepinkflower said...

I had a baby three months ago, and while I'm back in my pre-pregnancy size, I'm not back in my pre-pregnancy life. For years my wardrobe consisted primarily of skirts—long skirts, short skirts, narrow skirts, floaty skirts. I probably have 40 skirts. Skirts are hard with a baby—you can't get down on the floor gracefully and have less of a range of movement. So I'm faced with a closet stuffed full of clothes that don't fit my life, even if they do fit my ass. I find myself wearing the same things over and over again. Who knew that motherhood would require a new wardrobe?

January 20, 2005 at 3:43 PM  
Blogger sarah irene said...

I was just thinking about this very topic the other day, though with respect to my own wardrobe and not yours, of course.

Jeans and sneakers every day. Aren't I too old for this? But hey, I'm still a grad student. And I've decided the best thing is to stay in grad school forever, so I don't have to figure out Style.

January 20, 2005 at 3:47 PM  
Blogger eastcoastgirl said...

Ayelet, I feel your pain. I look fine but I never know how to dress--especially when I have to go out and dress up for something. I had one fabulous red dress but I hipped out of it and now--sigh. I only dream of fabulousness. I have to say though, I take a certain pride in not being a committed enough shopper to really look great. That's why I like the Gap--it's sort of like Garanimals for grownups

January 20, 2005 at 3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

okay, you KNOW you're gonna have to post a wedding pic now.

January 20, 2005 at 4:54 PM  
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You know it - we all need to see the picture.

January 20, 2005 at 5:28 PM  
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January 20, 2005 at 6:55 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

And I thought I was the only one. On the off chance I go out with single friends (I'm married with a one year old) I'm still struggling to find a shirt that is kinda hot and fits over my boobs. I look like I belong on the inside of someones locker when I wear a sweater. Sadly, I bought that book.

January 20, 2005 at 7:28 PM  
Blogger Lucy Tartan said...

that's the second time you've invoked Sofia Coppola. I'd like to know why, if you're ever stuck for a bloggable subject ... but somehow I doubt that ever happens :-) BM is becoming one of my favourites

January 20, 2005 at 9:29 PM  
Blogger marrije said...

Borrow my boyfriend! He's my own personal Trinny-and-Susanna-from-What-Not-To-Wear and always has really excellent wardrobe suggestions. When we don't take the kids shopping with us the shop ladies usually assume he's my gay brother.

January 21, 2005 at 12:26 AM  
Blogger stephanie said...

Oy vey...do I know that feeling. Today I must've spent half an hour trying on outfits, cause it's my bday and I want to feel pretty. Yeah, the olive pants that seemed so cool when I bought them a few weeks ago? Go with nothing. And to add insult to injury, now fit tighter than my leggings :-( 4 outfits later, I settled for an outfit that fits.

January 21, 2005 at 6:49 AM  
Blogger fiona said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 21, 2005 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger fiona said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

January 21, 2005 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger fiona said...

Sorry having a computer malfunction!

When did we export Trinny and Susanna to you? They're so mean and English! But they're nearly always right and they do appreciate a great bum and a good pair of tits.

I think when you get to a certain age, you find something that works for you and tend to stick with it and who has the time to spend all day trying on 7 different styles of jeans and 15 tops??

I do tend to stick to a great pair of jeans with black turtleneck or white t-shirt and high heels whenever I'm stuck. And I've learnt that well-fitting is better than tight. And that cleavage is a great accessory with nearly everything - but it took til I was nearly 38 before I was comfortable with that. And that sexy is a state of mind not a dress size or skirt length.

But I did ask a shop assistant today if the skirt I wanted to buy would be more appropriate for my 8 year old!

But my jeans, like yours, hang on my hips and the c-sections don't help the flat stomach - but it goes with the slightly sagging, but still fabulous tits and the little lines around the eyes.

And I wouldn't swop any of it to be 16 again!

January 21, 2005 at 10:45 AM  
Blogger fiona said...

Sorry having a computer malfunction!

When did we export Trinny and Susanna to you? They're so mean and English! But they're nearly always right and they do appreciate a great bum and a good pair of tits.

I think when you get to a certain age, you find something that works for you and tend to stick with it and who has the time to spend all day trying on 7 different styles of jeans and 15 tops??

I do tend to stick to a great pair of jeans with black turtleneck or white t-shirt and high heels whenever I'm stuck. And I've learnt that well-fitting is better than tight. And that cleavage is a great accessory with nearly everything - but it took til I was nearly 38 before I was comfortable with that. And that sexy is a state of mind not a dress size or skirt length.

But I did ask a shop assistant today if the skirt I wanted to buy would be more appropriate for my 8 year old!

But my jeans, like yours, hang on my hips and the c-sections don't help the flat stomach - but it goes with the slightly sagging, but still fabulous tits and the little lines around the eyes.

And I wouldn't swop any of it to be 16 again!

January 21, 2005 at 10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wear jeans and turtlenecks in winter, some of the turtlenecks I have had for 15 years. At least the layered t-shirts is an attempt.

In the summer I wear t-shirts and shorts. Capris look dumb on me, and I only have one pair that doesn't fit right.

If you like your look, stick with it!

Phyllis

January 21, 2005 at 1:24 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

I'm LMAO picturing your family all in the layered-shirts look. I'm going from mentally seeing you all in stripey pajamas (oh, the cuteness) to now picturing you all walking out of some Old Navy ad.

I confess, I have a similar wear-the-same-thing-pretty-much-every-day wardrobe. And at 34, a mom of 2 (only 1 c-section, but one's all it takes to get what I call the "flab-shelf" that hangs there... you know what I'm talking about), I also wear my jeans at the hips, own a fair share of babydoll Ts and "have back". But, honestly, I like my look better now in my 30s than I ever did in my 20s. (Can we all agree stirrup pants were atrocious?)

Ayelet, I don't know if you know about this already, but...
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I'll admit I try to read it every day just to make myself feel like, compared to those folks, I look pretty darn good sitting here in my Lucky lowrise jeans and cotton zippy sweatshirt. ;)

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