2/11/2005

The End

Over the past few months I have found myself enjoying more and more the process of blogging. I'd written personal essays before, but never on this scale -- never so often and with such, er, honesty. (If by honesty I mean slashing my wrists and hemorrhaging all over the computer screen).

By far the best part has been meeting people in the comments section and through emails. The only problem with blogging is that it is all-consuming. For a while there I was posting a few times a day. For the past week or so I've put the breaks on a bit (in part due to a book that needed copy-editing, in part due to a catastrophic depression). Then, this week I was offered a column on Salon. Okay, to be perfectly accurate, I browbeat the fine editors of that inspired on line magazine into letting me have a column. I thought for a while I could do both the column and the blog, but I'm afraid that if I tried that, I wouldn't have enough time and energy left over to write my novels or drive carpool.

So I'm going to end the blog. I'll still be bitching about the same kind of thing over at Salon. Please log on to read me over there. You need not be a member -- you can watch the little commercial instead. Please continue to email me with your comments, etc. And I'll be reading your blogs.

222 Comments:

Blogger Amy Taramasso said...

Oh no! I only just recently discovered your blog, so I'm doubly sorry to see it go since my acquaintance has been so brief. I especially enjoyed your recent post on your fascination with the freaksome; I have a book called Very Special People that has been a favorite for a long time. I'll look forward to reading you on Salon, and I'm sure others will follow. Bonne chance!

February 11, 2005 at 7:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ayelet! Say it ain't so!
Well... if this means you have to write more great essays and wonderful books, I guess it's okay.
See you next month at Mills-
Jennifer G.

February 11, 2005 at 7:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck. I also hope you will have time to write more books!

February 11, 2005 at 8:01 PM  
Blogger Dew said...

While I'm sad to see you leave blogging (and a little anxious for you to add yet another deadline-carrying task to your already brimming schedule), I will *grudgingly* follow you to Salon, but please know that it is 100% for you and 0% for them!

February 11, 2005 at 9:03 PM  
Blogger Dew said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

February 11, 2005 at 9:03 PM  
Blogger Dew said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

February 11, 2005 at 9:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck, Ayelet! I've really enjoyed your blog and am sorry you're ending it, but I'm happy that we still get to hear from you over at Salon. I'll look forward to reading your columns.

Jennifer

February 11, 2005 at 9:21 PM  
Blogger Jenny Davidson said...

I completely understand--the 'real' work takes precedence. I wish you could be persuaded that a little half-hearted personal blogging would be greatly appreciated by your readers (even brief, erratic and irrational spouting-offs), but I can see you're an all-or-nothing person on this! You've really developed an excellent first-person voice here, though, and I look forward to reading your essays in Salon and elsewhere.

February 11, 2005 at 9:45 PM  
Blogger 21st Century Mom said...

Alas, a change of venue.

"See" you on the other side!

And congrats on getting the column.

February 11, 2005 at 10:23 PM  
Blogger 21st Century Mom said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

February 11, 2005 at 10:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm new to the land of blogs, but because of Bad Mother, the first I started reading, I found Manolos Shoeblog, Mimi Smartypants, Fuzzy, Go Fug, and APS. Who among us bad mothers doesn't love/need a good tear inducing side clenching stroll through the bwaahaha bizarre?
So, thank you for your own great posts and for making me aware of the afore mentioned. Half the fun was reading peoples reactions so I can't promise I'll check out Salon regularly but will try. Hope you keep your book log going. Will miss the blog.
haggisduplenty@earthlink.net

February 11, 2005 at 10:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ayelet, I will miss reading your fabulous blog.(OK, I hated the freaks one but seem to be in the minority here!)I've been shocked, moved to tears and have howled with laughter at your various entries. I fear it won't be the same over at Salon. But I am so pleased about your success and the deserved recognition and will continue to read you avidly.

Look after yourself, good luck and be as great as you are!

February 11, 2005 at 10:51 PM  
Blogger marrije said...

I'll miss reading your daily observations, but otherwise yay on taking smart and appropriate decisions. Stay well, Ayelet, and keep knocking us over the head with those great books!

February 11, 2005 at 11:11 PM  
Blogger elswhere said...

Sorry to see you go, but I understand. I did wonder whether the Salon column would overlap with your blog material and what you would do about that. Now I know.

Mazal tov on the column; I'll be reading it, happy for you but wishing I could just click on a link at the end to comment.

February 12, 2005 at 12:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry! I like your blog so much!You could just post less and take it easier but don't end it.

February 12, 2005 at 4:42 AM  
Blogger BabelBabe said...

ACK! No! Ayelet, I am SO sad. I just discovered your terrific blog, I will miss you dreadfully. I felt as if I'd found a friend...sigh...the transient world of the web : ) I will look forward to your Salon column, and I guess I can get to work reading your books. Best of luck to you, and there will always be people out here keeping an eye out for your name.

February 12, 2005 at 6:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ayelet - I have to echo so many othes who protest, 'but I only just got here!'

I had just read your husband's books this year, and when I read the NYT article (insert defamatory phrase here) I hurried over, read and read and read, hurried to the bookstore, and devoured your books in a week. Well, no Daughter's Keeper, so I have something to look forward to. Plus Salon, I am excited about that.

I will miss you; your blog is already an integral part of my blogroll each day. And I agree with another commenter - if you feel like posting bits and drabs here, we will happily slurp them up!

Good luck, keep writing, and I will keep reading.

Sinda

February 12, 2005 at 6:41 AM  
Blogger lisoosh said...

Ayelet - Sorry to see you go. As someone said, you have developed a great voice here and I read Salon a couple of times a week so I will read you again. It is actually nice that you had the courage just to end the blog and not string us along half heartedly so thank you for that.
Congratulations on the column and good luck.

February 12, 2005 at 7:00 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Ayelet - I will come visit you at Salon but I am sure to miss your presence in this forum. Blogging, somehow, has a more direct, personal feel to it than an online column.

I do wish you the best...just feeling a bit selfish right now. Good luck.

February 12, 2005 at 7:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, I don't care that I'm the 26th comment that says the same thing as everybody else--DAMN IT! I aso just discovered you 2 weeks ago and was on the verge of obsession--well, THANKS A LOT. Way to harsh my mellow! All this is to say I think you may be the most brilliant, funny, sarcastic, well-informed voice I've found in some time. I guess I'll just have to be like the masses and SUBSCRIBE TO SALON, so I can get the latest. WAAAAH!

February 12, 2005 at 9:55 AM  
Blogger Psycho Kitty said...

Oh, I'll be so sorry to see you go, you bad mother, you. But I will definitely keep reading over at Salon (yay, you, btw!). Best of luck to you, in all ways.

February 12, 2005 at 9:59 AM  
Blogger not veronica said...

I love the fluidity of blogmedia, the constant beginnings and endings, the ever-changinness. Congratulations on getting the column @ Salon.

February 12, 2005 at 10:52 AM  
Blogger Leah said...

I echo all those who write about missing you. I too have enjoyed reading your blog, but I totally undertstand about needing to put the "real work" first.

Best wishes in all that you do.

February 12, 2005 at 1:49 PM  
Blogger Libby said...

Congrats, Ayelet. I loved seeing your blog-essay on abortion over at Salon, so I know it will be great to read you there....now if I can just make sure to check when you're up! (Do you have a regular schedule?)

February 12, 2005 at 2:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, Aylet! I just found your blog three weeks ago and love it so much I actually spent an entire morning reading all your archived posts. I've never done that on any other blog-- yours is the best. I am truly sorry to see the end of Bad Mother, but thrilled for your new opportunity at Salon; rest assured, based on what we've all got to say, you'll head over to Salon with quite a following.

Good luck!

February 12, 2005 at 4:35 PM  
Blogger ifuncused said...

Goodluck with your new job, but why leave us high and dry? Can't you spare us a few minutes a week and blog?? We will be here reading.

February 12, 2005 at 6:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You mean I'll actually be able to do some real work now, too? And where is this Saloon.com? This kind of news could make drink necessary. The first one, I suppose, should be a toast to your success. May you be blessed with great success, in good health and much joy! eliyahu@ewcpa.com

February 12, 2005 at 6:22 PM  
Blogger Manolo said...

Hello to the Ayelet!

This news it has saddened the Manolo. Yes, on the one of the hands, the Ayelet she will be moving onto the pastures of green, but on the other of the hand, the Ayelet, she will be taken from her home here in the blogosphere.

None of the less, the Manolo he cannot but wish the Ayelet the best of the luck.

You are indeed super fantatstic!

Muchos Besos,

Manolo

February 12, 2005 at 7:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, Ayelet, and looking forward to seeing you in other realms. Be well.

Cathy

February 12, 2005 at 7:33 PM  
Blogger Tom M Franklin said...

Boo! Hiss!

I once ended my blog to concentrate on "other" writing. After two months or so I came back to it, though. There's something about (a) the daily ritual of writing whatever I wanted to write on whatever I wanted to write about and (b) getting reader feedback on the same that I realized I missed.

Who knows, maybe you'll feel the same in a while. :-)

...

February 12, 2005 at 8:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just discovered you and sad to see you are leaving. Good Luck with Salon and keep writing those Mommy Mystery books. I love them!

February 13, 2005 at 1:09 PM  
Blogger Thumper said...

=sigh=

This is my fault.

Whenever I discover something spiffy, it goes away...

February 13, 2005 at 3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's brakes, not breaks.

i'm just being peevish because i'm not happy about this. I too just started reading your blog. Plus it lead me to awfulplasticsurgery.com, which is a hoot.

February 13, 2005 at 4:44 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

Love your voice, I will follow you to
Salon, and I also intend to read all of your books.

Best of luck to you and please stay above water.
Everything gets easier once the youngest starts kindergarten. Been there!
--B

February 13, 2005 at 6:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...ah too bad!
So many I have given your blog addy to...and now you leave. To bigger things maybe, but having read your Salon piece...missing the personal feeling that you leave here.
Best of things to you, Ayelet...
and if you should return...
we will be here.
Thankful for the archives.

February 14, 2005 at 3:03 AM  
Blogger doulicia said...

I think I only learned about you two weeks ago and now you're leaving the blogosphere.

At least I have a good reason to get back in the habit of checking Salon.

Best wishes

February 14, 2005 at 7:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your first essay at Salon was a good one and I look forward to reading more over there. But I do hope you find time to update over here occasionally, too.

February 14, 2005 at 8:00 AM  
Blogger Eden Kennedy Onassis said...

You BITCH! Seriously, you make me need you, and then you walk away. And now I have to pay for your company? I'll do it, baby, I'll do it for you.

Also, thanks to the person who called my blog "Fuzzy." As time goes on that's probably a better name for it.

February 14, 2005 at 8:18 AM  
Blogger landismom said...

sad for me

happy for you

February 14, 2005 at 9:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You shouldn´t do it to us, your faithful readers. Now you ARE being a bad mother!
I'm joking, of course, but I'll miss your blog a lot.

February 14, 2005 at 9:46 AM  
Blogger Esther Kustanowitz said...

Sorry to see you go. Congrats on the new gig, and hope to "see you around" the writing world soon!

February 14, 2005 at 10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats on the Salon gig. To earn ones crust doing what one loves is no small thing. . .
If you do ever blog again, and I hope you do, please consider staying anonymous for all the obvious reasons. BTW J.W. is a sweetheart.

February 14, 2005 at 2:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Assuming you need the money...good for you. If not, I feel sorry for you. Your writing is an art form of sort that will be sacrificed at salon. I hope the price is worth the cost.

February 14, 2005 at 2:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations, although I'm sorry to see you go. Your a recent discovery and it always makes me happy to find another bad mother out there. Best of luck.

February 14, 2005 at 6:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just discovered your blog -- and while you may have had a 'catostrophic depression' -- it has helped me get out of mine! Newly pregnant after two years of trying, it's not what I expected it to be! I also just read your latest novel -- and loved it, felt like writing someone about federal minimum sentences but was too depressed --at least in New York the 'Rockfeller' drug laws have been overturned! Am also writing a novel after 20 years in marketing for television. Wish me luck! I'll look for you at Salon, a place I've rarely gone to before now. Caroline B. from Old Bethpage

February 16, 2005 at 10:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I do a search on salon.com, I don't find a column by Ayelet. Help, someone?

February 16, 2005 at 3:32 PM  
Blogger elswhere said...

Oh, how I long to read your take on the Judith Warner "Perfect Mother" Newsweek article. I looked over on Salon but didn't see anything on the topic...yet.

February 16, 2005 at 4:16 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

Ayelet, congrats on the column.

Salon.com better hold onto its hitcounter because it's about to get a wholelotta Bad Mother detour traffic.
We'll miss you here.

Thanks for sharing all that you have here in your honest and tell-it-like-it-is way. I don't know you and yet you've made such a difference in my life in just a few months. I can tell others feel the same. You've shown us, many of us mothers, so much with your writing.

Keep writing.
Keep showing us things.

Best Wishes,
♥ Mary

February 16, 2005 at 9:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I pay tribute to your blog in my newly inspired blog www.single40female.blogspot.com

February 16, 2005 at 10:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw Ayelet and Michael speak last night and it was incredibly fabulous. They are both funny and smart and kind and gracious. I must say, however, that until you see Ayelet in person, as her photos don't do her justice, you will not believe how delicate and beautiful she is. Forever and always, Bad Mother rules!

February 17, 2005 at 12:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You had become part of my daily reading and I must say I miss your voice incredibly.To make matters worse, am having a hard time finding your articles at the Salon. Am tired of being bombarded by that annoying Cadillac ad too. Any hints on an easy way to find Ayelet's latest articles there?

February 19, 2005 at 2:15 PM  
Blogger synergy said...

I've been enjoying your blog for some time and it's introduced me to your thoroughly enjoyable novels. I just finished Playdate with Death. I am sorry to see you go, even knowing that you'll return in the column format.

I would like to say thank you for your candid and humorous discussions of bipolar disorder. My partner suffers from bipolar and finding humor is, at times, incredibly difficult, yet necessary for survival. My coping techniques also include blogging about it at: www.synergylk.blogspot.com

Good luck at Salon and I'll be looking for your column over there.

February 22, 2005 at 1:30 PM  
Blogger Edgy Mama said...

I'm with Mrs. K., you female dog, you. I keep checking back to see if you were lying, and this is not THE END, but a mere caesura. Bad Mother was the first non-friend blog I discovered--now I'm hopelessly addicted to the blogosphere. Bon voyage.

February 22, 2005 at 2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations! If you find yourself struggling with writer's block, remember that people devoured everything you wrote even when you weren't getting paid for it. You are too cool.

February 23, 2005 at 4:09 AM  
Blogger Mary Akers said...

Well, here's one silent lurker who will sorely miss you. Good luck!

February 28, 2005 at 9:03 AM  
Blogger MorahMommy said...

This is the first time I have been to your blog. I loved it. Sorry to see you go.

Good luck in your new adventure. I'll look for you over there.

March 5, 2005 at 7:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please, please tell us when your columns run on Salon! I really enjoyed having you in the blogosphere and it's a loss now that you're gone.
By the way, I think we're one step removed -- via Robin of Emmet, Ivy & Finn
- another Angsty Jewish Mother
http://angstymama.typepad.com/

March 16, 2005 at 11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please kill yourself now, you total loser. I don't want to read any more of your child-abusive navel-gazing on Salon, and neither does anyone else.

You are a bad writer and a worse mother. Let your husband do the writing. Even better, go stick your head in an oven. After all, maybe then someone will remember something you wrote.

It worked for Sylvia Plath!

March 22, 2005 at 3:18 PM  
Blogger The Spicers said...

I'm horrified that someone could leave such a vicious and unwarranted comment. If you had any guts, you'd post under your own name. Obviously, from the 66 other comments, your opinion is not shared by others. You are clearly the product of a bad mother yourself, who never taught you that if you don't have something nice to say...

March 23, 2005 at 9:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And "le chat fou" is your real name? Unlike Ayelet Waldman, I don't feel the need to expose my children to public ridicule.

In response to the "if you don't have anything nice to say" comment, I have TWO things to say:

1. Kavalier and Clay was an EXCELLENT book and TOTALLY deserved the Pulitzer Prize. Now, why such a talented author would marry a neurotic, self-obsessed hack is quite a puzzle.

2. Evil occurs in the world because good people sit by and do nothing when children are abused. Mental abuse of the type that Waldman inflicts on her own children is just as bad as physical abuse.

March 23, 2005 at 2:41 PM  
Blogger The Spicers said...

I don't see the mental abuse that you refer too. Have you ever stayed home with children full time? If not, you have no right to judge the way one mother chooses to vent about the joys and difficulties of taking care of 4 children. I can't imagine posting such meanspirited comments about someone I don't know. Nothing Ayelet has written in her blog warrants that.

March 24, 2005 at 5:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you read her article on Salon? I think hinting to your 7-year-old that you might possibly really kill yourself is an example of mental abuse. I don't need to be there in the home to see that is the case. A mature adult would discuss the situation with her husband, with her therapist, with her best friend--but not with her child, and probably not with the wider world of the internet that is accessible to a child.

As far as staying home with four children is concerned, thousands and thousands of women have done that throughout the centuries without having mental breakdowns about it that they then inflict on their families. If you can't handle it, hire a nanny before you turn into Andrea Yates.

March 24, 2005 at 6:38 AM  
Blogger The Spicers said...

No, I couldn't find the article on Salon you are refering to, but I think Ayelet's refreshing honesty about the trials of raising kids in her blog helped a lot of women suffering from depression and bipolar disease. If you haven't experienced depression, good for you. It must be hard to imagine the darkness that would drive someone to talk openly about suicide. Comments like, "go stick your head in the oven, you total loser" just discredit you as a wacko and do nothing to enlighten the debate.

March 25, 2005 at 4:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ayelet,

Your candor is refreshing but think before you publish again! The NYT post on loving your husband more than the kids will absolutely positively garner you more hate mail. Do what you want, but be ready for the overwhelming negative feedback.

March 28, 2005 at 11:46 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Aren't you blogging here, now?

March 29, 2005 at 11:24 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Aren't you blogging here, now?

March 29, 2005 at 11:24 PM  
Blogger Brandon said...

came via the salon article, and saddened to see that someone out there has the strength to give up on blogging once it becomes apparent it eats into the time needed for what we should be doing.

i hope to someday have that strength ;)

April 2, 2005 at 10:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Something weird about a dead blog...

April 9, 2005 at 4:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Didn't like you on Oprah! My mom has always told me most people who talk about their sex life aren't really getting any. I have never talked about my sex life with "mommy and me groups" which by the way I don't attend. I have GOOD friends and we get together, but we don't brag or complain about sex. My husband and I met when we were five years old and we marvel at what kindred spirits we have always been. We don't always see eye to eye, but work through by compromising when we don't. Open communication between a wife and husband is the best way to improve love making.

You aren't in love with your children? What about the biological bond/love a mother is SUPPOSED to have for their children...stronger than a spousal love. I have identical twin girls and that is even stronger than a mother/child relationship. I witness it every day.

My marriage is so important to me. I pray and work every day to be as good a wife as I can be. But let me tell you if the whole world sees your know-it-all attitude on t.v. the way I did, some of us can only imagine what you are like as a wife at home.

I was trying to email you personally, but to no avail. So to let you know I respectfully disagree with you and think you were a little narrow-minded for Oprah's show. Oprah, by the way is not married and has no children. It's hard to take advice from someone who isn't experiencing married family life.

I love reading mysteries, but you have now given me a reason to make sure I don't buy any of your books.

April 20, 2005 at 5:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Saw you on Oprah today. My mouth was agape the whole show. I totaly disagree with what you said. After reading the whole essay and some other things on this web site, I think you might have Postpartum Depression. It can cause a disconnect with your children and feelings uncertainty about your ability to mother. It can last years if it is untreated and it worsens the more children you have. You spoke about Sylvia Plath and said that you related to her as a mother. I have long suspected that she too suffered from postpartum depression. Please seek help for this. You will realize that you can love your children as much as your husband just in a different way.

April 20, 2005 at 7:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you're brave and fantastic and look awesome on Oprah!
-from another former Ramahnik

April 21, 2005 at 6:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw you for the first time on Oprah yesterday and was SO impressed with you that I had to find out more about you.

I watched Oprah with my 17-year-old daughter and we BOTH agree with everything you said. We were aghast at people who take everything in life so seriously and can't see humor in anything. Even my daughter realized that some of the things you said were meant to be taken tongue-in-cheek. At one point she said, 'Well Duh! Kids leave home - then what do you have!'

After finding this dead blog and reading the comments on your ending post, I thought you might need a pick me up.

I love your style and will start reading your books immediatly!

You Rock!

April 21, 2005 at 10:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just finished watching you on Oprah. I thought it was interesting that some people there couldn't get past the semantics of what you had said. I have struggled with the idea of the love I feel for my husband and my children. I do love my children! More than I can say! BUT, I am IN LOVE with my husband. A wise woman once told me that children need to see their parents in love. My children express horror when they find my husband and myself kissing passionately, but I think they need to know that the expression of love is not just for young people. Thank you for bringing this to the table. I hope a lot of people are thinking about this now!

April 21, 2005 at 10:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I only recently heard about you after watching you on the "Oprah" show discussing your "controversial" article from the New York Times. I completely understand what you were trying to say, although I can't say I can relate, UNFORTUNATELY!!! I just wanted you to know that I support you since you seem to have so many angry mothers against you. Please continue doing what you do so well!! I wish you all the best!!

April 21, 2005 at 8:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Ayelet, Just wanted to say THANK YOU for your Times article & your appearance on Oprah. My husband and I watched together & we both agreed with you, thank you for saying what needed to be said. P.S. You looked awesome! Reminded me a little of Madonna.

April 21, 2005 at 9:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ayelet, I saw you on Oprah. For what it's worth, I agree with your article in the Times. Thank you for having the courage to address an important and difficult issue. Most moms are WAY too focused on their kids, to the exclusion of their own enjoyment of life. It's not just about sex; it's about pursuing personal interests that don't involve kids, AND about continuing to enjoy a husband's time and attention. I am one of those moms who's still getting some (and who loves her husband to distraction). Don't let the moms who have no life get you down. Those of us who still enjoy adult activities may be in the minority, but we're out there!

April 25, 2005 at 1:29 PM  
Blogger zombieswan said...

I hadn't even thought to leave a comment, and that it would go to you the way blog comments always do... but for some reason my blogroll showed a "new post" to your blog today. I guessed it was comments, and read over them.

As an older mom, pregnant right now with twin babies, I was married to my hubby for 12 years before we even started our family. So I can't imagine not making him my "sun" and my kids, if not "moons," at least smaller stars. :) I am sad that so many people completely miss your point and call you an abusive, or "bad" mother. There was noplace there that said you do not love your children, as far as I am concerned. Most writers write about their lives, their families; it seems to only be when women do it that they are called bad for it. As far as people accusing you of having postpartum depression and being abusive-- folks-- if you read her blog, she admits to suffering frombipolar
disorder
and that she is under treatment for it. Do a little reading yourself and learn that, as a quote I myself have on my fridge says: "the most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."-- Jill Churchill.

Ayelet's is just one of millions of ways of negotiating a complex job. It may not be your way, but get past the labels and see if you can learn something.

I wrote a
blog entry
about my response to your appearance and essay, and at the risk of getting some of the trolls you have commenting nastily & anoynmously on your blog, I'll put a link to see if you'd like to see one "thinking" woman's response to your essay.

Also, I'm terribly jealous of you for getting Salon to hire you! I wish I had the clout to badger them into a job! :)

April 25, 2005 at 4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Honey you're fugly, your more famous husband, Michael Chabon, has had a nose job and a chin implant.

And you're now known as a serious nutbag.

Congratulations!

May 9, 2005 at 7:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just found your site and I really like it. I'll see you at Salon!!

June 2, 2005 at 5:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, at least Neil Pollack is getting all of the hate mail now for his "hell is spending time with my biting 2 year old" essay! Go Neil!! No wonder the kid bites!

June 15, 2005 at 1:15 PM  
Blogger Tao Lin said...

don't worry everyone

you can all come read my blog

http://reader-of-depressing-books.blogspot.com

June 26, 2005 at 5:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope that you will have more time so that you can continue writing.

August 7, 2005 at 4:12 PM  
Blogger Lovekandinsky said...

I believe unequivocally that the primary reason my husband and I divorced was because he felt we should put the "needs" of our kids before our needs as adults. Of course, this meant that it was usually ME who was supposed to do it (that being the definition of a good mother and all), but even he would choose doing something with the kids over doing something with me. The best piece of (unfollowed) advice I got when I was getting married for that first time was to put the marriage first, because without it, everything else falls apart. That woman was right. Now that I'm getting ready to marry for the second time, I'm marrying someone who agrees that we have to have a life first. We love our kids, but they will grow up and go start families of their own and we need to not make them the center of the universe. So rock on Aylet--keep saying what needs to be said.

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Blogger Joan McMillan said...

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