Meta-Narcisism
In an article (that I participated in because I am self-absorbed and narcissistic) about blogging (the world's most narcissistic activity) in the Sunday Styles section (the most narcissistic and vacuous section of the New York Times, and, incidentally, my favorite), I am quoted. But only on the second page. Something that is causing me a little bit of narcissistic angst. I mean, I know Heather B. is much more blog-portant than I am, but who's this fussy person and why is she so interesting?
Oh my GOD. I have got to get back to work. I have books to write, for Christ's sake.
posted by ayeletw @ 1/29/2005 09:32:00 AM
578 Comments:
Hey, don't go around thinking you have a monopoly on narcissism, lady. I didn't come to be known as the Blog Whore of King County because of my boyish good looks.
Seriously, it was an honor to be mentioned along with all those other fine bloggers (and that includes you).
im drinkin milk fellow bloggers! coming soon to an award near you.
Well, at least it's a way for people (like me) to find your blog for the first time. I like it.
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http://verbatim.blogs.com
You're on the second page because you're the grand finale!
xo
gayle
Hey -- at least he remembered to mention your BLOG! I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see my name & book in the NY Times however I can get it in there... but you think he coulda linked!
Andi
http://www.mothershock.com/blog
Ayelet,
The NYT article also led me to your website. I've just been reading about your novels, and am impressed with how prolific you are. So- it might help you sell a few books, as well. I agree with you about Kate Winslett. I recently re-watched Iris, and she was definitely hotter.
K.S.
What Gayle said, Ayelet! Think of it this way: You're so quotable that they let you have the last word. :-)
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jks@temple.edu
Ayelet,
I was delighted to stumble on your blog via the NYT Styles (also my favorite section). I was just thinking about the possiblility of my own children writing a Mommy Dearest-style memoir when they are grown, and laughed out loud at your failed attempts to Ferber-ize Abraham. Also greatly enjoyed your fantasy cabinet. I used to like Republicans of the WASPy golf pants and twin set variety, before the party was co-opted by the fundamentalist right. Thanks for the laughs and the reassurance.
I read three of the blogs linked in that article, but it was great to find yours.
HeatherB may be more well known, but I don't think it's for being a mother, but for being fired.
Congrats, you self-absored mother. (sorry but that article was a bit snarky.)
I read your blog fairly regularly and have always enjoyed it, but after reading your comments in the NYT I feel that you do a disservice to mom blogs by describing them as "narcissism in its most obscene flowering". I am sure that you are a naturally acerbic and clever person, and perhaps this came off better over the phone during the interview, but the author of the article was clearly hacking away at these obsessive women who blog about motherhood and you handed him great quotes to denigrate the entire genre. The article itself was patronizing and judgmental about mothers-who-blog and it was a big disappointment to me to find you right there with the author, calling momblogs "obscene narcissism". And then you post with a complaint that you didn't get more coverage! These blogs are an important source of validation for the women who write them and the women who read them. After reading the article it seemed to me that you denigrated and mocked the work of others in order to lay claim to some amorphous, New York Times-conferred imprimatur of intellectual rigor; that if you called names, then perhaps everyone reading the Style section would understand that you are a Serious Writer who Happens to Blog and you Understand How Obscene and Narcissistic and Silly it all Really Is. Anyway, obviously my opinion is quite irrelevant to you, but as a longtime reader I wanted to say that it's sad that you feel that women who blog are nothing more than obscene narcissists because there is a lot of good, worthwhile writing out there and it surely it doesn't do you any good to call people like Dooce and Suburban Bliss names. Finally I wanted to say that if every parent in the world gets a blog tomorrow I will still be reading Chez Miscarriage and Dooce because regardless of your opinion of their rampant raging narcissism re: babies, mormonism and infertility, they are fine writers.
Dude, it's MY narcissism I was talking about. I think that's pretty clear. It's an on line journal. A forum where I talk about myself. Of course it serves all kinds of larger purposes, but does it help my children? That's the question he was asking me. No. Absolutely not. It doesn't do anything for my kids. It's all about me. And as I've made pretty clear, I'm a regular reader of blogs like Chez Mis, and I admire them tremendously.
Yeah, Ayelet, I've seen several reactions like the one above -- I've been explaining to people that it's not fair to criticize -- you were being SELF-deprecating -- those of us who know and love you know that it's in your nature to self-deprecate -- and it was the reporter who twisted it into backing up his trivialization of the whole genre of mom/parent/blogging (do blogs have genres?)
Allison
{Gush} Well, I was excited to read this article, as I have long been a fan of your novels, but didn't know about this blog. Now, I can waste many of my (supposed to be working) hours reading the archives. Go NYT!
You're on the second page of the online article, too. ]
Sheesh, some writers/editors don't know to put the strongest stars at the front of the article.
(and why is it you only respond to comments when they're negative?)
...
Fussy has been around for 3 years, Newjack. No mommyblog (wretch) is more important than another and your faux self-depracation is tedious.
That's 21 in dog years.
I think you mean "retch," as in vomit, not "wretch" as in cur. But I could be wrong. And I only respond to negative comments because it seems weird to respond to the positive ones. But I like the positive ones much better. Plus, I'm defensive and bitchy and the negative ones piss me off. But here's a blogging question. Why do so many people who write negative comments post them anonymously? I so admire people who post negative comments with their names or their blog names on them. It seems honorable to do that. "I hate you, or hate what you said, and here's who I am." When you're anonymous it's just a little twit scratching at someone and running away.
Like Metacara. She was upset, she said something, she signed her name. Or her blog-name, which in this world is more or less the same thing. That's the decent thing to do. So thanks!
Glad you're embracing the narcissism. And you might enjoy this, which is also, in no small way, about you.
http://myurbankvetch.blogspot.com/2005/01/in-presence-of-king.html
Even though I'm a Republican (and not the kind who has a place in Maine) I am thrilled to find your well-written, amusing blog, thanks to the NY Times.
I thought he used your comment to fulfill his own preconceived notion of who we are. He totally missed your intent. Sigh.
I was also REALLY disappointed in the NY Times sloppy reporting/fact-checking have they learned NOTHING in the last year?
Maybe because we don't want to have to sign up for a blog to comment at your craptacular site.
You sound like a snobby middle schooler putting down the very fine Fussy, not at all like the second-rate mommyblogger you really are.
Newjack? Please who are you "Jenny from the street" circa 1993?
You don't need to sign up for a blog to own your opinion,
just put your name and email right here
I did actually think you were referring to all of us bloggers as obscenely flowering narcissists. It made me kind of hot. But people, even if the woman was quoted as saying that all parent bloggers are Narcissus incarnate, you might want to take it with an enormous grain of salt, seeing as how it was crystal clear from the subhead on that the writer had an agenda and was going to pick and choose any quote that supported it.
But don't listen to me. Apparently I'm very angry. But I could have been angrier! You wouldn't like me when I'm angrier.
Alice (Finslippy)
Jeez, I guess I didn't read the article that closely. I just came away with a lot of pleasure to DISCOVER these wonderful blogs, and I took the "narcissistic" comments as kidding around. As a mom of 22, 18 and 13-year-olds, I really feel that the ones to worry about are those who don't wonder aloud, who don't need reassurance and suggestions and help just figuring out parenthood and how we relate to it -- those people who really think they know what they're doing are the ones to worry about! I recently turned 50 and I'm so much more comfortable ADMITTING just how much I don't know, how I'm winging it a lot of the time, how much I value the humor and advice of my girlfriends...and that I always read the STYLE section of the NY Times first!
Maybe you should just be thankful you were in it. I'm the one gave them your name and URL, so if it hadn't been for me they wouldn't have even contacted you. I know your post is written with sarcasm, but gee whiz show some thanks for even getting the attention. Guess I won't be dropping your name again when I'm asked for moms with blogs that I find interesting. *sigh*
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