A Troll of One's Own

Oh joy! I finally have a troll!

I was just complaining about my lack of trolls. Since I can't get my site meter to work, I have no idea if three people are checking the blog, or 300. But the fact that I have my very own troll makes me feel so great. It's like when I got all those horrible Amazon reviews. Someone actually cared enough to go after me!

Awesome.

I was whining about my lack of trolls to Michael when I saw him this morning. He felt like he absolutely had to see House of Flying Daggers, so I went into San Francisco and met him for a 10:30 AM movie. It was sort of romantic – a quick movie in the morning. I felt like his mistress and we were cheating on Ayelet.

I know I'm not supposed to respond to the troll, but I'm going to, because he/she makes a valid point. If I bitch so much about the kids, why the hell do I have so many of them?

So, first of all, of course I love my children. I feel the same gut-clutching bliss when I see Abie wobbling across the floor, his arms open and his little toes peeking out from his too-long pants, that most mothers feel. I let Rosie sleep with me, despite her constant (and I do mean constant) kicking, because there’s something delightful about her chubby arms wrapped around my neck in the middle of the night. She’s yummy, even if sleeping with her is like trying to bed down with a weasel.

I'm a sour, bitter bitch for a couple of reasons. 1. Because, well, I'm a sour, bitter bitch. 2. It's funnier. And 3. As an antidote to the aggressive marketing of the perfect-mother myth that we are subject to, and have always been subject to. The 1950s image of June Cleaver in her perfectly pressed apron has morphed into Gwyneth Paltrow all aglow, commenting on how being Apple's mommy is just the hardest and most amazing job in the world. What? You don't have a similar glow? Maybe it's because you don't have the emotional capacity of a true mother. It has nothing to do with the other things you lack. Nothing to do with, for example, the team of nannies, the personal chef, the full-time housekeeper, the private yoga instructor. (Let's not even bring up the 20 million dollars.) I talk about my negative feelings about parenting because if you do this parenting thing with any kind of focus, you're going to feel shitty sometimes. And the fact of most mothers' lives is that the burden falls most heavily on them. So I see it as my job to validate the nasty shrew in all of us.

Because, hey, someone's got to do it, and I'm so well-suited for the job.